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Best of the worst

Do you like buying cheap stock photos? Take a look at iStockHell, from the makers of Clients from Hell. Not sure if photographers should be laughing or crying.

*Added Dec 19: The iStockHell site may be down or perhaps even gone. The site did mention that it had received complaints from iStock but was trying to work around them.

*Added: Sadly, the iStockHell site is gone.

A Monkey Could Do It

A customer might ask: “Why does it cost so much? You just point the camera and push the button. Technology does all the rest. I bet even a monkey could do it.”

Well, apparently there is a monkey doing it. And, posting her pictures on her own Facebook page. And, Nonja the orangutan works very cheap.

No word yet if she’s available for editorial, commercial or corporate photography assignments. So working photographers can rest easy for now. :-)

When it comes to hiring a photographer, you get what you pay for. A professional photographer is not someone who knows how to push a button but rather they know when to push the button. A premium quality photograph gets its value not only from what it shows but also from what it doesn’t.

If your company’s photography needs don’t require experience or creativity, if your corporate image doesn’t matter, if your customers don’t care how your business communicates with them, then even a monkey could do it.

 

The Sport of Photography

Chess, bridge, billiards, power-boating, hot-air ballooning, flying an airplane and dancing are among several activities that have been recognized by the International Olympic Committee as being a “sport”, although none are (yet) part of the Olympic Games.

From olympic.org :

If it is widely practised around the world and meets a number of criteria established by the IOC session, a recognised sport may be added to the Olympic programme on the recommendation of the IOC’s Olympic Programme Commission.

It’s high time that photography be recognized as a sport. It could even be in both the winter and summer games.

Photography is certainly widely-practised. It is one of the very few sports that can be played and enjoyed by people of any age, weight, height or sex, able-bodied or not.
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Bad Business Slogans

Having a slogan or tagline can sometimes be good for a business. Creating an effective slogan requires careful thought, correct spelling and good grammar. Here are some photography business slogans that may have missed their mark:

• We’re #1 in service and inconvenience

• Best Profressional Photographer In Town

• Fully expreienced perfessional

• Not just a photographer but a lens maestro

• Other photo studios come and go. We’re not going anywhere.

• Why go elsewhere and be cheated? Come to us first.

• Passport pictures – Come in and get your head shot.

• We’re not satisfied until you’re not satisfied

• If you’re in a hurry then so are we

• Our prices show that we care for your money

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Rules of Photography

If you are an experienced photographer then you probably know all of this. But if you’re just starting out, here are some of the rules of professional photography (in no particular order):

There’s no such thing as a simple shoot.

The layout will change after the photo shoot is done.

The CEO always has a bad hair day.

Size of the group to be photographed varies inversely with size of the room.

The only time you need a reshoot is when there’s no time for one.

Gear always works at home. Gear always fails on location.

The chance of a piece of equipment breaking is proportional to its importance for the shoot.

The chance of a memory card failing is proportional to the importance of the images it holds.

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Release This

Why do fax machines still exist?

I suspect it’s because of the non-stop flood of press releases sent everyday to newspapers and other publications. E-mailed releases exist but these risk being redirected into an editor’s junk folder or getting lost in the deluge of other e-mails that an editor receives each day.

For some (most?) publications, press releases are a blessing. They are a source of free content and who doesn’t love free?

Smart businesses, public relations agencies and other marketing companies should be taking advantage of the weak economy which is forcing all newspapers to cut back. Now is the time to produce quality, newsworthy and timely releases for their business or clients.
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A word to the wise

With huge apologies to Chicago Tribune columnist Mary Schmich who wrote the 1997 column later made famous by Baz Luhrmann.

 

If I were to address the graduating class from a photojournalism school here in Canada, it might go like this:

Ladies and Gentlemen,

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, autofocus would be it. The benefits of autofocus have been proven by photographers, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.

Enjoy the technology and power of your current camera model. There’s no need to always upgrade to the latest gear. Oh, never mind. You won’t fully appreciate the capabilities of your camera until it’s long obsolete. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at your photos from today and recall in a way you can’t grasp now, how much possibility lay in your hands and how amazing that camera really was.
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