For Customers

Give Me Liberty or Give Me Something Cheap

This week’s “winner” of falling victim to cheap, stock photography is the United States Postal Service (USPS). In early December 2010, the USPS began to issue three billion new postage stamps bearing a close-up photo of the face and crown of the Statue of Liberty. The photo was bought from an online stock agency.

One small problem, though. It wasn’t the Statue of Liberty in the photo. But rather, it was a picture of a fiberglass and styrofoam replica statue.
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Stop Me If You’ve Heard This (III)

A Toronto commercial photographer went to her family doctor. The photographer had celery stuck in her nose, a carrot in one ear and a banana in the other.

“What’s the matter with me?” she asked her doctor.

The doctor replied, “You’re not eating properly.”

The same photographer then went to an eye doctor. The receptionist asked what was the problem. The photographer complained, “I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.”

The receptionist asked, “Have you seen a doctor?”

The photographer replied, “No, just spots.”
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Stop Me If You’ve Heard This (II)

Just before leaving on a big assignment to photograph a client’s overseas factory, a Toronto corporate photographer went to a drugstore to pick up a tube of ointment. The directions read: “Apply locally, twice a day.”

The photographer said to the pharmacist, “I can’t apply locally, I’m going overseas.”

Since the client was very low budget, the photographer had no choice but to fly on a very cheap, small airline. During the overseas travel, the flight attendant asked the photographer if he would like dinner.

“What are my choices?” he asked.

“Yes or no.”
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Cheap Stock Pictures Are Too Expensive

9Here’s another example that cheap stock pictures can be too expensive, especially when it mangles a company’s reputation.

A US magazine called VegNews is all about being vegetarian or vegan. Rather than using custom food photography, the magazine decided to use cheap stock pictures because they were, uh, cheap.

The problem is that the food photos were not vegetarian or vegan. The magazine just passed them off as being so.
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Stop me if you’ve heard this

What’s the definition of an optimist?

A freelance photographer with a mortgage.

 

What’s the definition of an optimist?

A freelancer who opens a savings account.

 

What’s the difference between a freelance photographer and a savings bond?

One of them eventually matures and earns money.

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Canonize your Canon

Some wedding photographers offer free prints to attract new customers. Others will offer lower prices. But if a wedding photographer really wants to stand out and increase their value to the soon-to-be bride and groom, then perhaps that photographer should also offer to perform the marriage ceremony.

Imagine the photographer’s sales pitch:

Our full-service Platinum wedding package includes engagement photos, albums for the couple and the parents. Plus, if you act now, you’ll get a free marriage ceremony!

To offer this service, a photographer just has to get ordained by a church and perhaps, purchase the lovely $6.99 certificate which “proves” they were ordained.

As a bonus, an ordained photographer may also perform funeral services. Imagine the business to be earned from:

Add some fun to your next funeral with our Heavenly FotoFuneral package. Free souvenir 8×10 glossy if you book today!

 

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