Just before leaving on a big assignment to photograph a client’s overseas factory, a Toronto corporate photographer went to a drugstore to pick up a tube of ointment. The directions read: “Apply locally, twice a day.”
The photographer said to the pharmacist, “I can’t apply locally, I’m going overseas.”
Since the client was very low budget, the corporate photographer had no choice but to fly on a very cheap, small airline. During the overseas travel, the flight attendant asked the photographer if he would like dinner.
“What are my choices?” he asked.
“Yes or no.”
After arriving in the faraway country and meeting his local photo assistant, the photographer learned that he had to trek through a swamp and then across a desert in order to reach the client’s factory.
While wading through the swamp, the photographer asked, “Is it true that alligators and snakes won’t attack if you’re carrying a camera?”
“That depends,” replied the assistant, “on how fast you carry the camera.”
Unfortunately, the corporate photographer got separated from his assistant and became lost in the desert. Realizing his only chance for survival was to find civilization, he kept on walking.
Time passed and he became thirsty. More time passed and he began feeling faint. He was on the verge of collapse when he saw a tent about 200 meters away.
Barely conscious, he reached the tent and called out, “Water, water…”.
A man appeared in the tent door and replied sympathetically, “I am sorry sir but I have no water. However, would you like to buy a tie?” He then displayed a collection of exquisite silk neckwear.
“You fool,” gasped the photographer who was still lugging his heavy camera bag, “I’m dying! I need water!”
“Well sir,” replied the man, “If you really need water, there’s a tent about two kilometers away that has water.”
Without knowing how, the photographer summoned enough strength to drag his parched body and his sand-covered photo gear to the distant second tent. With his last ounce of strength, he tugged at the door of the tent and then collapsed to the ground.
A man dressed in a tuxedo appeared at the tent door and enquired, “May I help you, sir?”
“Water, water …” was the photographer’s feeble reply.
“I’m sorry,” replied the doorman, “But you can’t come in here without a tie!”
