If you are an experienced photographer then you probably know all of this. But if you’re just starting out, here are some of the rules of professional photography (in no particular order):
There’s no such thing as a simple shoot.
The layout will change after the photo shoot is done.
The CEO always has a bad hair day.
Size of the group to be photographed varies inversely with size of the room.
The only time you need a reshoot is when there’s no time for one.
Gear always works at home. Gear always fails on location.
The chance of a piece of equipment breaking is proportional to its importance for the shoot.
The chance of a memory card failing is proportional to the importance of the images it holds.
Sync cords fail only when you use them.
High-priced, long-life batteries are more former than latter.
It rains only when you have an outdoor shoot.
The number of red traffic lights is inversely proportional to the amount of time you have to get there.
There’s never a parking spot near the door unless you’ve already parked two blocks away.
Events start on time only when you’re running late.
Professional photographers are predictable, amateurs are not.
When all else fails, read the manual.
An expert is someone who read the manual.
Your pictures get better the more you understand your subject.
Never buy photo equipment based only on reading the brochure.
Your pictures will never look as good as those in the brochure.
You should have bought the other brand.
Sorry, that’s not covered by the warranty.
It will go on sale the day after you buy it.
Photo equipment expands to fill all available trunk space.
Rubber boots can be an important photo accessory.
The weight of your equipment will increase throughout the workday.
You’ll use a quarter of the gear you bring and miss all the gear you left at home.
Photo equipment never fits back into the case it came in.
The perfect piece of gear will be quickly discontinued by the manufacturer.
Copying from another is plagiarism. Copying from many is creativity.
The game-winning play always happens on the other side of the field.
Spelling counts.
The opulence of a client’s office varies inversely with what they’re willing to pay.
Your photos will never be good enough for everyone. They only have to be good enough for someone.
The alarm clock in the hotel room doesn’t work.
Connecting flights don’t.
Your carry-on will always require a full hand-search by at least two security people.
“We have a fun little job for you” is code for “no money.”
Cash in should exceed cash out.
The accounts-payable person started vacation the day before your invoice arrived.
The cheque is in the mail.
When taking pictures of someone, the expression on their face is often a reflection of yours.
Photography is not about the people you photograph but rather the people you touch with your photographs.
It’s not about knowing how to push a button; it’s about knowing when.
Praise may be good for your ego but criticism is necessary for your success.
There’s much more to photography than just pushing a button. But sometimes that’s all it takes.
